October 12th, 2002 - Crime and Punishment

Closer, no hesitation. If your steps falter along the way, you'll lose the advantage. A wrong answer is better than no answer at all. You must believe that all choices, and all steps are made with the utmost precision, the end result well thought out, the path laid before you. Appearances are what counts. Appear to be in control, do not show weakness.

Of course, the truth is in the facade, in the impressions.

This week, a record week for bad behavior. Elysium violations resulted in the punishment of Kay Croft and Sera Tyler. The flogging that followed (which was Kay's choice) was a brutal affair. I hope it is enough to deter others, I hope it is not too much. Wilfred killed a Camarilla Lasombra, within a domain I granted him only two days ago. He invited the lasombra to talk, and killed him instead. Domain and excuses of frenzy do not absolve the guilty. The excuse has held too much weight in the past. Loss of control happens, accidents happen. We still pay for them. Wilfred was stripped of domain, and possibly status too (if the harpies were worth a shit). I hope it is enough to deter others, I hope it is not too much.

I spoke to Arkady again, the conversation went much better than the one where he professed his undying "duty" toward my safety walking home. He said he was sorry even. Its a step, followed by other steps, and some sort of agreement reached to the nature of that relationship and the flipflopping of positions. Its not an easy thing for him, not really an easy thing for me either, but I'll deal. My life has been punctuated by periods of massive change, nothing taken in small steps either. I know I'm resiliant, but for all that Arkady is on the outside, I'm not sure he has that kind of resiliancy. I wonder if I'll become that way as I get older...I wonder if I'll even last that long. Doom and gloom predictions from the malkavians don't help my outlook too much either, but like everything else, can't really stop long enough to think about it or be bothered by it. Rationality says that such predictions are just ways to wear me down, they're angry about my denial of the anarch primogen. I think lots of people are angry. And theres bound to be a whole lot of anger coming in my direction sometime soon, I suppose that will be the true test. Whether the residents of the city can handle less martial rule, I know they're not afraid of me like they were (still are) of Arkady. So, we'll just have to see how that goes, if a person can't stand on their principles, what's the point of standing at all.