February 1st, 2003 - Enemies at the Gate

Jon, such a peripheral primogen of the Nosferatu. Every phrase uttered from him came off as insulting or condescending, it was no surprise that no one liked him and only gave him begruding respect, and very little of it. Where did he go astray, or was he always just off kilter. Though publicly, I declared that the Sabbat couldn't be trusted, and their statements that he'd sold secrets wouldn't hold water. Honestly, I believe that of the person. Of Jon, I'll always remember that shifty-eyed gaze. He would sit for hours in elysium, never saying a word, just watching and listening. Was that his plan all along?

Tara was killed, and Kay didn't say much about that. Jon was killed, and no one said much about that either. Like if saying it would make real things we would rather ignore. The strip club Portside, which was the last known location of sabbat activity was destroyed by Kay, a rage over Tara's death. We do not know where they are now. Always hiding, always lurking, they chip away at us in tiny pieces.

I asked Jayson to be scourge. He refused this service to the Camarilla, while nearly in the same breath asking me to teach him fortitude. Its so typical, people unwilling to make sacrifices, yet they expect it of me. Eva got a bug to make Jayson the Keeper, and this was not something I was going to back down too. Jayson as hostess, when he wouldn't even do the duty that he is obviously suited to. Its a ridiculous notion, as is the notion that I would teach him fortitude when he refuses to serve the sect.

The Malkavians put Matthew Kroh at the head of their table. He's so young, and he knows so little. I vassalate between wanting to knock him down and wanting to build him up, he could go either way. I'll just have to wait and see which direction he chooses for himself, and follow suit.

Jaxon is to be released. I'm not sure how I feel about that, but I think its time. The city has a steep learning curve, and I can't keep him under my wing forever. Though in effect, he'll always be my childe, of my blood and I'll always see to his well being. The Ventrue are never truly released, accounting is forever. In the eyes of the Kindred of the City, he'll be able to move more freely, and find his place in the world.

And I've taken on a new protege', Ember. Jaxon has some issues with jealousy, especially now that he's being released, and sees Ember as competition or replacement. Which is all good, the entire Ventrue culture is based on polite competition. Ember is struggling with things, not quite as resiliant mentally as I had hoped for. She'll need to be strong if she's to survive, being the childe or even the ghoul of the Prince has its rewards, but as a whole it can be extremely lonely and taxing. Arkady seems to have pulled up some of the slack there, and Ember trusts him, so that is good.