December 25th, 2002 - Fallen Snow

So much to tell, where to start... First of all, its Christmas. The lights and the festivities, the shopping. I do love this time of year, I just wish St Louis wasn't so damn cold. I walked through Forest Park, quite the winter wonderland with all the freshly fallen snow. Forest Park also hosts an outdoor skating rink, surrounded by pines and spruce, all flickering and flashing with colors, while the children and their parents wobbled and slid on the false ice pond. I must have watched them from a distance for an hour. Always distant, like those of my kind are. Even when we get close to them, there is still a separation, and the closeness is only a ruse.

I haven't updated in a while, not that I haven't had time to reflect, there's been plenty of that. Arkady and I reconciled, and Jaxon has been doing well as childe of the Prince, it is a difficult cross to bear, but he's holding up. Even though, more often than not, he finds himself on the lowest rung of the ladder. Childe of the Prince, only goes so far. There's expectation, and very little reward. Bukowski is still missing, I only hope that he finds what he is searching for, or at least makes some kind of peace with himself.

Enemies of the state, like vultures, just circle, occassionally taking pecks. Jaxon was nearly destroyed by the Gangrel, Wilfred. Some kind of vendetta for me punishing his leman by making her work at the trainwreck a couple of nights. The vampire psyche never ceases to amaze me, how so much emphasis is placed on little things that won't matter in the grande scheme of things. Kindred often die because of these singular foci. Never seeing the forest for the trees. Jaxon was returned, safely, thanks to Arkady, who delivered him to my bosom like a lost child, for that it what he was. Truly, the time of his absence was heartbreaking, almost more than I can bear. I have also learned, that I can endure just about anything.

Dominique has faded from the public eye, which is for the best. His crimes and political entanglements will be forgotten, they always are. The sands shift, and something else draws the attention of the vipers, for the time being. Eva doesn't seem inclined to forgive or forget, but that's just dandy. She is not without her own sin. But then again, who is?

Christmas passed, the snow that was so pretty when it was fresh fallen is now a slushy blackened mess on the roads. I suppose everything does that, brass tarnishes, love withers. I just hate seeing it right in my face like that, bitter little pills we swallow over and over and over. On the bright side, because I do profess to always see a silver lining, all the withering and tarnishing and melting, is really just a change of state. Everything changes, everything cycles. More snow is coming, time to weather the storm.