4/30/02 - The Death of Henry

I was warned once, that things in St Louis are always moving on fastforward, its taken some time but I think my brain has gotten acclimated to it. Princes come and go, primogens fade and return, known faces become those unknown. People die. That was always a given. Expected.

Henry Durdan, a brujah of some reknown, was killed in Elysium at the hands of the Prince. I didn't see it, which is maybe for the best, all reports suggest that it was not a pretty scene. Brutality...though we always knew Arkady Filitov had that in him, and I'm not saying that Henry didn't deserve it. The Darwinian order of things tends to weed them out, I just wish the weeding would occur before these people wandered into the city. I'm not a big fan of violence, death, or pain. But these are the laws we live by.

Speaking of pain, Bukowski is now fully under the care of Kalista Edan (Malkavian primogen). Sometimes, I'm not sure how I feel about that, but the general rule of thumb is, that if a primogen wants something, don't stand in the way. Bukowski ended up on my doorstep rather unexpectedly anyway. However, it does bristle somewhat, to be given and to have it taken back. Though I knew, deep down, that he'd have never made it within my clan, with me. I have a demanding personality, and his compulsion to abuse himself isn't something I can enable. I wonder if Kalista does.

Pipe is coming along well, I wish I had more time to explain somethings, but then again, we all got by fine with minimal explanation. The truth and the secrets come with time, and honestly, its probably better if he doesn't know some things. He seems content enough to follow orders, though sometimes I can sense that underlying tendencies to rebel, like a pit bull that tugs at his lead, testing the boundaries of the chain.

Elena's return has motivated me to re-evaluate some things. I got very used to doing what I wanted. Not that I can't still do that,as long as I do so carefully. Again, back to the timing thing, it didn't take long - a whole month- for me to develop bad habits. Its amazing really, when I think of how much time I spent in Austin, in LA even, and looking back, it was all slow motion and treading water.